Wounded Pride

Reason I haven’t been blogging >> I hate to say this, feel very bad but i guess it has to be said,the truth is i haven’t kept up to my plan. Gosh all those tall promises... feel like a total fool! I know I’ve given some of u more reason to smirk and probably some of you might sympathize with me if u have faced similar situations at some point of time but the fact remains that i haven’t stuck to my plan! Its been so difficult to admit this that i have not been blogging at all.(Well that dint stop me from checking if some one had written and there was only one encouraging word ,thanks Narayani).

So why did i blog now.. well a painful thing happened today. I dint want to write about it but then this was supposed to be a diary where i jot down all joys and sorrows related to my body weight right, so against my good judgment i am writing this..

I met this friend at the washroom and we had our ‘girly chat’ while waiting in the queue. Guess this is not uncommon among us women and some of the best gossips, discussions and shopping notes are exchanged during our long wait at the ladies. After exchanging pleasantries and cribbing about the project, bosses and the usual stuff she popped the question..

“Hey wanted to ask you something, Are u pregnant?”. I felt like this old film heroine who had been subjected to hajar resonating slaps on her face (guess u must have watched those old movies so u can imagine how that feels).I mumbled a 'no' and then gave her some crap about ‘hormones’ and ‘weight gain’ but guess she realised her blunder. I actually felt sorry for her coz she then tried explaining that i looked different so she thought probably it was because of this and all that blah blah but by then the damage had been done. I guess this is the worst nightmare of every 'not so thin' woman..to be asked if she was pregnant,when she is not!Sigh..

Anyway that made me login to this blog and confess.. Feel very sad and upset but am definitely going to do something about it. Ok while I think about ways and means to salvage my wounded pride. Write in if you have any suggestions.

On a positive note ..

Have u ever tried to loose weight?
No, i am not talking about the 'oh have put on weight' cribs and not eating samosa but thulping biriyani and two rasagulas the next day.. Have u sincerely tried to loose weight?
I have told myself i will be sincere, i even made two or three sessions to the gym! but somehow guess din’t have the perseverance. Sigh..i know i don’t look as good as i used to before, i know my confidence is at its worst and i also know its not much hard work, just 10 kgs to looking better yet I haven’t been able to make a sincere attempt!

Sometimes u realise that u are just unbelievable.. am going through that thought process at the moment. Anyway rather than getting used to the depressed state that such realizations bring on you.. i am thinking what should i do.

My target weight to reduce - 10 Kgs.
Duration - 4 months (2.5 kgs per month)

What do i need to do?

Do some cardio (swimming, walking or the Gym) 4 days a week (atleast 3 days)
Cut sugar and reduce oil intake ,no sweets and fried food.
Going to allow myself one day where i wont think of what i am eating.
That is reasonable, i guess and not too hard to keep up to.

How do i achieve this?

Going to use this blog as an online diary.
I will be truthful, will write every bit of food i eat and physical activity i do.

Why Blog?

Apart from acting as a check on my eating/exercising sprees (as i have to confess my wrong doings/boast about my good ones here ) i feel that friends, well wishers and fellow readers can give me tips , guide me and encourage me in the process. Anyone willing to join me in this fight to cut the fat are welcome.. we can plan things together and share notes.

What’s more important is when i am successful.. kinda getting this idea that i might be after all, want to read this again as a constant reminder not to slip back!